The Final Rose 🌹: How I Picked My Architect
ICYMI: Originally published May 26th on Substack. Subscribe here to get the latest posts first.
If you’ve ever binge-watched The Bachelor, you know the drill: a mansion full of eligible suitors, a whirlwind of dates, and the drama of deciding who gets the final rose. Now imagine that, but instead of a hot tub and candlelit dinners, it’s me drowning in spreadsheets and squinting at architectural proposals. Welcome to the most dramatic architect selection process ever.
It all started with a text. I was juggling architect interviews like a full-time job, venting to my friend Becca (because yes, she deserves her own stage name too) about how I was drowning in options. And the best part? Becca was basically starring in her own season of The Bachelorette, too—also hunting for an architect. Sometimes we were even “dating” the same guys, swapping notes like it was fantasy football. Somewhere between “Does he have enough experience with Coastal Commission?” and “Is that even within our budget?” I had a realization: we weren’t just comparing portfolios—we were casting for a reality show.
The First Impression Rose: Jordan
I had my First Impression Rose—Jordan. The moment we met, he made a strong impression. Charming, confident, and exactly the right balance of vision and experience. He seemed like the perfect fit, and I was this close to mentally moving him into my metaphorical Fantasy Suite. But, just like on the show, a strong first impression doesn’t always guarantee a final rose.
The Curveball Contestant: Ben
Enter Ben—the Curveball Contestant. I remember meeting him in the thick of it—speed-dating my way through ten different architects, each one selling me their vision, their style, their “unique approach.” When I first spoke with Ben, I thought he was nice and funny, but he was so low-key that I didn’t mentally categorize him as a frontrunner. I mean, he seemed great, but I was already on option overload.
Turns out, I was basically interviewing Clark Kent without realizing he was Superman. Ben was, by far, the most established architect we spoke to—his client list was insane, and he’d won every award under the sun. He was so low-key about it that when I finally realized the dept of his experience, I was like, “Uhm, why are you even talking to us?”
But then it hit me—maybe for these established, talented architects, it’s not about making an extra buck on a rebuild. It’s about being part of something bigger—a historic moment in rebuilding the Palisades and leaving their mark. And if they can help a young family come back home in the process? Well, that probably feels pretty good too. Honestly, maybe we’re a bit of a charity case. But you know what? I’ll take it.
The Supporting Cast (Villains and Runner-Ups)
Of course, it wouldn’t be a true Bachelor season without a few other contestants making their mark:
Nick, aka the Prefab Prince (Villain): He came in hot with promises of speed and cost-savings. But once I crunched the numbers, I realized his “affordable” prefab build cost more per square foot than a custom home. His speed was tempting, but in the end, I wasn’t looking for a whirlwind fling—I was looking for a forever home.
Chad, aka the Design-Build Charmer (Villain): Chad offered the all-in-one package, making it sound like he could handle everything with a wave of his credentials. But there’s a fine line between confidence and hard sell, and every conversation with him felt like an infomercial. Premium upgrades, luxury add-ons—he was ready to build me a dream house… as long as I signed up for the platinum package.
Justin, aka the Rising Star (Runner-Up): Fresh out of a prestigious firm, Justin was a wild card. Young, eager, and brimming with creative energy. I felt like I’d discovered a hidden gem—until I remembered that hidden gems sometimes need a little more polish.
Ethan, aka the Familiar Flame (Runner-Up): My sentimental favorite. We actually go way back—think of him as the college sweetheart who always felt like home. We had a comfortable rhythm, and I trusted his talent completely.
The cast. The chaos. The group text debates. Last season, we got our first Asian Bachelorette. This season? It’s me—but with architects instead of abs and a lot more Google Sheets.
Group Date Wisdom: How I Narrowed Down to My Final Four
Just like on The Bachelor, not everyone makes it to Hometowns. After juggling architect meetings, swapping notes with Becca, and drowning in portfolios, I had to narrow the field. Here’s how I survived the group date phase:
1. Keep an Excel Sheet (Seriously): In my twenties, I dated—a lot. Partly because it was a free meal plan (hello, entry-level salary), but also because I got to date a lot of different people. The same strategy works for architect hunting. I used Google Sheets to track notes, follow-ups, and red flags. Trust me, they all blur together. Happy to share my template, just shoot me an email.
2. Do Your Background Checks: This was basically dating-level stalking, but for professionals. I asked for references—past clients or builders they’d worked with. Quick note: Don’t expect client lists in the first meeting. If they’re hesitant to share references after a few chats? Red flag.
3. Prioritize Builder Compatibility: An architect is just one part of the team bringing your dream home to life. I wanted someone who could recommend trusted builders but was also open to vetting ones I knew—basically another set of expert eyes. Architects can be artists at heart, which means design might fight the budget. I needed one who welcomed builder input during design, so we didn’t end up with a dream home we couldn’t afford.
Image via Bachelor Nation Wiki – Season 14. I didn’t make this chart, but the energy is… accurate.
Hometown Dates: The Final Four
After all that, I was down to my final four: Ethan, Justin, Jordan, and Ben. Each brought something unique to the table, but Hometowns are where you see the truth.
Ethan: Comfort and familiarity. We had a trusted history, and I knew I could rely on him. He’s the one who brought my dream kitchen to life, and it was so hard not to go with him. But with the complexity of a ground-up build, the countless unknowns, and the reality of competing with 5,000+ other homes also being rebuilt, I felt safer with a larger team—one with experience navigating Woolsey Fire rebuilds. In a different circumstance, Ethan would have been our number one choice by far.
Justin: Creative energy and bold ideas. Young, eager, and ready to prove himself. But with youth came inexperience, and for a custom build, I needed a steady hand. With the complexity of our build, I needed experience, not just potential. I still hope to see his name in lights one day.
Jordan: Total charmer—the kind of guy you could take to Mom, and she’d absolutely adore him. His knowledge of Coastal Commission and understanding of zoning was a huge asset. In fact, he was the first one to flag that we were in a unique zoning loophole and were “cat-ex” (a huge deal). Sharp, polished, and an excellent communicator, he wasn’t just giving us his pitch; he was keeping us updated on real-time changes with permits, grants, and everything in between. In a process where everything felt up in the air, his hand-holding brought a sense of calm.
Ben: Quiet confidence and unmatched experience. More than just an architect—he felt like the perfect partner and maybe even a mentor as I took my first steps into interior design. I’d always dreamed of branching out into interiors, but it felt like a far-off “someday” goal. With Ben, that someday turned into right now. He didn’t just listen—he genuinely encouraged me, saying, “You can take on the interiors yourself.”
I’m embarrassed to admit how long I spent on this bootleg Photoshop job… but I also stand by it. It’s time Palisades was featured on Hometowns
The Final Rose Ceremony 🌹
After what felt like a season’s worth of dramatic twists, endless pros and cons lists, and a few late-night debates with Eric, it was time to make a decision. I found myself replaying every conversation, every portfolio presentation, every little moment when one architect seemed to outshine the others.
Was I choosing based on first impressions? Was I chasing the flashiest option? Or was I actually listening to my gut—the one that kept quietly nudging me toward the calm, steady voice in the chaos?
In the end, it wasn’t about the awards, the portfolios, or the promises of “cutting-edge design.” It was about trust. It was about someone who didn’t need to oversell himself, who actually listened to my vision, who made me feel like this was a partnership—not a performance.
And that was Ben.
We signed the paperwork (aka our Final Rose Ceremony), and just like that, I had my architect. Calm, talented, and quietly brilliant—Clark Kent all along.
But what really set Ben apart? He didn’t just support me taking on the interiors—he encouraged it. For Eric and me, it meant keeping a big chunk of our budget intact as that was a major line item on the proposal. But for me, it was so much more than a cost-saving move. Ben told me from the start, “You can be involved as much or as little as you want.” That freedom—and his trust—changed everything. It wasn’t just picking tiles. It was my chance to finally dive in, with the safety and guidance of someone I respected and knew I could genuinely learn from.
I’ve always dreamed of expanding my real estate career to include interior design for clients. I’ve always loved it, and this felt like the perfect opportunity to dive in. Maybe even the perfect mentor to learn from. With Ben, I felt safe to take this kind of risk. Because the total package also included what we could afford, and I just felt really good about the whole thing too.
Now that I’ve handed out my final rose, the real drama begins—designing and building our new home, one decision at a time.
So grab your popcorn. I have a feeling this season is just getting started. 🌹
